Thursday, August 28, 2014

Write in Your Books!

Write in your books?!  The act was nearly a sin for me when I was growing up.  Books are *special* and they should be respected, I was told, and back then, I believe it was true.  Books are indeed special, and as a child, I had no use for writing in them, as I do now.


When I was in highschool, one of my last two years, I took a Freshman English course (in which I met one of my best and dearest friends).  Ms. Alison Haupert was my instructor, and from the very beginning she required us to underline, write in the margins, and jot down our thoughts in between the lines of our books.  I remember the first time I put pen to printed page; I felt as if I was ripping a piece of my heart out.  I love reading, and so books were and are extremely dear to me.  Writing in them...just felt wrong!  But I followed the assignment, and before I knew it, I found that I began to understand and retain what I was reading far more than I ever had before.  I could articulate my thoughts and feelings about the literature on a deep level, and when I reread the books (yes...even in fiction books), I could see my old thoughts, expand on them, correct them, and look back on my old immature ways of thinking and smile.  Writing in books has become a way of life for me, and I love it!

Just the other day I began rereading The Small Bachelor by P.G. Wodehouse, a book that I performed in highschool as a humorous duo with a great friend.  Now, in my senior year of college, I write in every book I own, but this book gave me pause.  I started reading and, at first, I didn't want to write my thoughts in the lines.  There is so much memory and emotional stock in this book!  How could I write in it?  At that moment, I was pulled into a paradoxical conflict.  On the one hand, I felt affronted by the thought of "defacing" such a dear book...but on the other, I felt as if I was telling the book "I don't respect you enough to share my thoughts and feelings with you.  I don't want to invest in you so that when I look back later, I'll see my influence on you."

Well of course...that got me thinking.  Read my latest Scarlequain and an old quote I have to see what I mean.

Letters, Words,
Sentences heard,
Invest time,
Notes in the lines:
People books.

"There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book."
-Anonymous

The quote doesn't exactly cover what I'm talking about, but I think you get the connection.  To some degree, people are like walking, talking, feeling, emoting books.  We are a treasure trove of information that is begging to be interacted with, loved, and remembered.  And just as with books, if you actually invest your thoughts and feelings and time, if you underline the interesting areas, take note of them, and if you come back to those things later and see how you have grown with those things, your understanding and your relationship with that person will be just as deep and as meaningful as your deepening understanding of your literature.

Many of us are just going back to school after a long summer break.  Books and people surround us and saturate our daily life.  So here's something to think about.  Want to do better on tests and understand your work more?  Pull out a pen.  Do you want to understand and relate to those people around you to whom you never could?  Invest some time.  Pull out a "pen" and start taking note.  The world not only needs better students.  The world needs understanding people.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Deadly Pen




Ink on a page,
Not soldier but sage,
Consequences of words,
That millions have heard:
The deadly pen.





Towards the end of this school year I was approached by a member of the staff of Bryan College who was in charge of the international affairs of the school.  Having lectured in one of my international relations classes a week or so earlier, he wanted to know if, based on my knowledge of international politics, I would be interested in going to Austria for an internship there with the Red Cross.  From the start I was skeptical about going overseas, as money has always been an issue for me.  I live on a summer-to-semester type lifestyle, spending everything I earn during the summer on school.  However, I felt as if I was at a point in my life where I needed something drastic to change my perspective on where I am, what I believe, and where I am going, so I told him I would go, even though my bank account had less than $100 in it at the time, and the flight alone was going to cost a minimum of $1,500.  I had a little over a month to find $2,000, but I had to say yes or no up front.

In total faith, I said yes.

Now here I am, nearly three months after that large personal leap of faith, sitting on a small bed in a Red Cross station in Neusiedl, Austria, having completed most of my project work.  Did this “simple project” change my perspective on where I am, what I believe, and where I am going?  Absolutely.  And it also changed how I view the condition of the world.  How could I not write about it?

I have been told that the spiritual state of Europe is drastically different than that of the US.  I admit that America isn’t exactly in a spiritually healthy state – far from it – but I had no idea how radical the difference actually was.

Having “officially” finished Visions of Vocation by Steven Garber about a week ago (I don’t count a book as finished until I’ve read the epilogue, acknowledgements, etc.), I came across a quote near the end that I hadn’t ever considered, and it spurred a train of thought that manifested itself in several circumstances throughout the next week that I find extremely insightful into the European way of life.

 
To say it very plainly, over the next century and a half, scores of millions lost their lives because of the misreading of the human condition and history at the heart of Marx’s critique, and the world as we know it has been radically and wretchedly affected by his misunderstanding the nature of vocation and therefore occupation, of what life is about and therefore what our lives are about.  In the early twenty-first century, there is almost global acknowledgment of this truth.

-Steven Garber


Marx himself never advocated violence as a means of accomplishing his visions, but still, his work was misinterpreted on such an enormous scale that literally millions of people lost their lives.  Marx’s pen was one of the most deadly instruments in all of history.  Words have consequences that are much more far-reaching than any of us could ever imagine.  They affect our way of living on such a grand scale that entire cultures will pattern their lives after the words of just one man.  It has always been this way.  Every great nation to rise and fall has seen a great artist rise up from its glory or ashes, and thereafter shaped the way that nation has progressed, and such artists of eloquence are inevitable.  Marx was one of the last, but there is a new culture rising.  Who will be next?  What will the words be that shape the coming generations?

I have always been one to consider deeper questions about life, especially after I joined a speech and debate team.  The question “Why?” is one that I am very interested in, but for a long time, it was just a matter of intellectualism.  I wanted to ask “Why?” until I understood the theological implications of any belief, because, at the very root, even if it is buried very deep, every human being has some theological view.  That question used to be one for debate and argument, but after being in Austria for some time, my perspective on that one simple word has drastically changed.

When one of my gracious Austrian friends heard that I was soon to finish my last book I had brought with me, Visions of Vocation, they generously brought me a whole stack of English books they had used to learn English earlier in life.  Gulliver’s Travels and Treasure Island were among the pile, as was the book The World Without Us, by Alan Weisman.  Being intrigued by the title and the short description on the back of the book, I started reading.  From the beginning, it was obvious to me what Weisman believes: we are the result of a huge cosmic accident.  Somehow the evolutionary chain altered 3.9% of our DNA, slightly altering us from chimpanzees.  The entire book wrestles with the question of whether or not the world will miss us once humanity is inevitably obliterated.  “Is it possible that, instead of heaving a huge biological sigh of relief, the world without us would miss us?”  This question, whether Mr. Weisman intended it to be or not, is inherently one that rings deeply of a search for Purpose.  It is a question that asks “Why are we here?” and “will anyone care once we’re gone?”

With Weisman’s philosophical questions still ringing in my ears, I set off for volunteer duty at a local festival in Gols, Austria.  My only job there was to collect monetary donations for the Red Cross at the entrance of the festival, and so for four hours I got to do one of the things I love best: people watch.  I saw all sorts of people, as one is apt to do at any festival, but one young man stands out in my memory.  He couldn’t have been any older than 16, and he was wearing a plain blue t-shirt that, on the front, said in big, white, capital letters, “WHO AM I?”  I’m not sure he spoke English, and so I’m not certain that he even understood what his shirt said, but in my mind, that made the entire scenario even more heart-wrenching.  At our very core as humans, even if we are totally unaware of it, we are programmed to ask and to wonder: who am I?  Why am I here?

The next day, I was brought by the President of the Burgenland Red Cross to the national headquarters of the Red Cross in Vienna.  Another student from Bryan joined me, and both of us considered the day a time for our superior, the President, to show us off to his superior: the General Secretary of the Austrian Red Cross.  The meeting went well, from what we saw, and after we were finished, the President showed us into a room that housed the Director of International Affairs for the Red Cross, as a special favor to us, as both of us are interested in International work of some kind.  The Director had prepared for us a 45 minute presentation on his work, and towards the end, he gave us the opportunity for questions.  At this point, after reading and seeing the things I had, I knew that very few people in Austria take religion – specifically Christianity – seriously.  Almost always there is only one church, usually Catholic, per town.  There might be one Protestant church for every five towns, and attending the after-church social at the local coffee shop is nearly more important than actually attending the service itself; I know because I experienced it.  With these facts swirling around in my head, I asked the Director of International Affairs, “Why?  Why do you do this?”  The fact that many of the staff at the Austrian Red Cross volunteer countless hours was not lost on me; there had to be a reason that was more insightful than “helping people feels good.”  I was not disappointed.

The Director told me that religious help had always angered him.  He told me that he had traveled all over the world – to India, Africa, Haiti, and many other impoverished areas, and he told me that seeing people live in squalor made him want to do something about it.  He could work elsewhere, but always those people were in his mind.  It was at this point that the President spoke up.  “You see boys,” he said, “I have volunteered at the Red Cross for forty years not necessarily because it is always fun.  I don’t need to work at the Red Cross because I have another job that supports me.  I need to work at the Red Cross because it gives my life some sort of purpose.”  That is all he said.  The Director nodded in silent agreement, and then turned the conversation elsewhere, as if my question of Why was something that he perhaps thinks about every now and then, but isn’t totally reconciled with his answer.

During my stay in Austria, I made many new wonderful friends.  I love my new friends so much, but I also ache for them.  Many of the young men my age who work in Jennersdorf will do what they are doing for the rest of their lives: work as grocery men for money, volunteer at the Red Cross to fulfill civil service and feel as if they have some sort of Purpose, receive a pension, free healthcare, and a free education, get married, and live their lives just as countless people before them have lived their lives.  To some degree, this simple life is a relaxing one, but even being here just one month, my mind constantly screams at me: BUT WHY?  Why do you do what you do?  Do you only live, work, and die?  What is it that gives your life Purpose?  Why will your life matter once you are dead?

The Austrians and Germans have a great respect for Rainer Maria Rilke.  His work is often read at celebrations, and no wonder.  He asks and provides obscure answers to questions that people wonder about but do not vocalize.  “…be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue.  Live the questions now.  Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”  What a sad way to live.  Why live your life hoping that you will one day stumble across the Answer to Why?  That is the beauty of the world we live in.  There is an Answer.

There are two options for our life.  1) We live, we work, and we die.  There is nothing else to life; we are merely a cosmic accident that has no Purpose to pursue.  No vision to our vocation.  If this is the true option, then dear reader, I urge you to logically live: party hard, for tomorrow we die.  This isn’t true only in Europe.  Today, one of my favorite actors, Robin Williams, committed suicide.  He was depressed beyond all logic because he believed his life had no purpose.  But something deep inside of me and inside of you screams to us that there is more to life than that.  Why else do we search?  Why else do we long for more?  2) There is an Answer that desperately needs to be found.  Now.  Not one that can be gradually lived into, for our lives are but a breath: here today and gone tomorrow.  Your life needs a Purpose, and it can have one that reaches even beyond the grave.

Each generation has an artist of eloquence that shapes the way our culture progresses.  Marx’s pen was one of the deadliest weapons our world has ever seen.  His position of power is just waiting to be filled, and honestly, there are millions of aspiring authors who would love to fill it.  It will be filled by someone; it is inevitable.  I would be lying if I said I do not want my words to have the same weight and power as Marx’s did, but I would also be lying if I told you that my words are the Answer.  The wonderful thing is that the true Artist of Eloquence has been among us for as long as we have existed.  There is much greater Purpose waiting for you than volunteering for an organization.  There is answer to Who you are and Why you are here, and if you honestly and actively search for it, it will find you.

So perhaps, dear reader, you have gained a small amount of knowledge in the last few minutes.


Knowing what you know, what are you going to do?

Monday, August 4, 2014

Realistic Romantic: The Need for Dreamers in a Real World

"Bad books always lie.  They lie most of all about the human condition."

-Walker Percy

If you have been following my blog the last couple of posts, you will have seen several references to Steven Garber's book Visions of Vocation, specifically to the fact that we as humans are responsible for the knowledge we have about the world – to sum up in a short quote, "Knowing what I know, having heard what I have heard, having read what I have read, what am I going to do?  Being smart isn't good enough...always and everywhere, the revelation [knowing] requires a response."  

Ever since January 9th of this year when I first published "romantic, Romantic, Romanticist," I have been intending to write this follow up post, due to its failure to address the human condition, and due to criticism of my outlook on life as a Romantic, specifically because, in my critics’ view, merely being a Romantic isn't practical: humans need more than just a good story and an avant-garde vocabulary as a solution to life.

In my previous post on this topic, I began by quoting Lewis Carroll, and I shall do so again. "Who in the world am I?  Ah, that's the great puzzle."  In my post I presented an aspect of who I am as a person: I am a sappy romantic, I enjoy being a Romantic writer and musician, and I am a Romantic in my outlook on life; that is, I believe there is always a deeper story with wonderful vocabulary that is waiting to be pursued.  I admit this is a rather positive outlook on life; at first glance it may seem that I am lying about the human condition.  It may seem that I believe all life is about is pursuing who we are as individuals, and pursuing a good story.

In an effort to fully tell the Truth in my writing (which is, to be honest, the only reason I even began writing in the first place), I wish to convey to you the human condition.  We are Broken.  Humanity has been broken for many, many years, and there is no possible way that we can fix ourselves.  The world in which we live is also broken, and so it is often full of wounds that seem incurable (Hitler, Stalin, the Israel/Gaza Conflict, Ebola outbreak, disease, and death).  At first glance, the world is not a positive place.  Indeed, at first glance, the world is a terrible place.  At first glance the best possible outlook on life is to live large today, for tomorrow we die.  This is the human condition.  This would be my view if the story ended there.  However, it is not the end of the Story.

The God who created us also gave us a solution to our willful brokenness.  He sent his Son to repair us in a way that we cannot do on our own.  Without Him, we are destined for eternal brokenness, but He gives our meaningless lives a Purpose that we only have to accept by his grace through faith.

Art is something that I discuss and think about quite often.  Art is, if you think about it, a direct expression of the current human condition by people who think deeply about it and project their ideas into the future by words, paint, canvass, paper, stone, lyrics, music, you name it.  William Barrett sums this up perfectly in his Irrational Man: “Every age projects its own image of man into its art.  The whole history of art confirms this proposition, indeed this history is itself but a succession of images of man.”

So artists are the closest thing to real life “prophets” that we have today?  That’s not entirely what I am saying.  It is important to realize, however, that artists tend to have insight into the future based specifically on their understanding of the human condition.  Think about this:

To understand this cusp of a new century – marked as it is both by the sociological reality of the information age and the philosophical movement we call postmodernism – we have to pay attention to the novelists, filmmakers, and musicians who are culturally upstream, as it is in their stories, movies and songs where we will feel the yearnings of what human life is and ought to be.  Whether staged or celluloid, in print or on computer disks, they are fingers to the wind.  Why?  Artists get there first.
-Steven Garber

This quote sheds light on another facet of my life: if you were to look at my movie collection, or my music selections, or the books I read, you will not always find material that is, on the cover, “Christian.”  As an artist, something I haven’t been able to put into words until now, I believe that I should keep a finger to the cultural winds of my time to be better able to understand which way it is blowing.  But I suppose that’s another topic for another post.  For now, let’s focus on the story-tellers themselves.

Steven Garber quotes Bono in his book Visions of Vocation.  He quotes Smashing Pumpkins.  He references movies and articles and books and people on a fantastic scale, and it is evident to me that he believes “stories with legs” – stories that tell a tale and then live that tale out in real life – these stories are the most effective way to convey the human condition and hint at a solution to it.  As I read his book, I keep feeling myself grow in that “haughty without being so...proud, but humble about it” attitude of being a Romantic.  I keep reaffirming in my mind that “I am most certainly not afraid to pitch my tent in the Romantic crowd.”  I reiterate to my critics that “Here, to be famous is to be dead.  But I'd rather it be that way.”  However, Mr. Garber opened my eyes to the facet of “romantic, Romantic, Romanticist” that was incomplete.

“Epistemologies have ethical implications . . . ways of knowing are not morally neutral but morally directive.”  Mark Schwehn, quoted by Garber, put this reality into perspective for me.  In simple terms, Schwehn is saying what Mr. Garber has been advocating for his entire book, and what I wrote about last: knowing must mean doing; in fact, that truth is so strong that it carries moral implications: knowing without doing carries dire consequences.  Even if we don’t see those consequences today, they will carry themselves out somewhere, somehow, bringing with them more of the broken condition that we are so vehemently striving against.  Therefore, I acknowledge that we cannot view the world merely through Romantic lenses: we need Realistic ones too.  Think about it; you feel this way all the time:

“Why else do we care about what someone knew when?  Our newspapers, courts, even family conversations are full of the assumption that if one knows, then one is responsible.  If you knew, then why didn’t you do.”
Visions of Vocation

Reading this quote for the first time, I realized something that, perhaps, my critics didn’t even realize they were touching on: I have found words for a new, small, area of my life, but my post was, in a way, lying because it didn’t take that knowledge and apply it to the human condition.  It didn’t practically put my new knowledge to work.

“Very, very bright people do not always make very, very good people.”  Yes, I think Mr. Garber is correct.  Just writing about bright ideas does not make a person good, and I think I may have been taking too much satisfaction in just philosophizing and not actually applying these philosophies to my life.

The fact still remains however, that I am a die-hard romantic, Romantic, Romanticist.  I am a Dreamer, and this is evident in nearly all of my writing.  To some degree though, I do think that two authors Mr. Garber reveres were dreamers too, and the world would be far worse a place if they hadn’t been: Vaclav Havel and Albert Camus.  If you have read nothing about or by these two men, you should.  They were dreamers who saw the human condition, wrote eloquently about it, either in fiction or lecture, and then applied that writing to their lives.  They gave their ideas legs.  This is what I was missing: a good Romantic isn’t one who merely invents immortal heroes for pleasure.  A good Romantic invents immortal heroes and then physically demonstrates with his life why those heroes matter.

"As the poet Bob Dylan once sang, 'Everything is broken.'  Yes, everything, and so we must not be romantics.  We cannot afford to be, just as we cannot be stoics or cynics either."  I will disagree with Mr. Garber on this one point.  Some of us must be Romantics.  It’s in our daily life, our chemistry, our DNA.  We have been called to be Romantics, and that is extremely important.  The world needs artists to put their fingers to the pulse of culture to measure where it is going.  The caveat is that we must be Realistic Romantics.

Artists see first,
Humanity's worst,
We Romanticize the Story,
To create hope and glory:
A Realistic Romantic.

As a Realistic Romantic, I want to know the human condition for what it is.  I want to constantly observe the catastrophes that pervade our history, Romanticize them in ways people will remember forever, and then remind them why it all matters.  Why are we drawn to the knight in shining armor who slays the dragon of Evil?  Maybe it is because we are daily fighting our own dragons that desperately need to be slain?  Maybe because we are not the knight ourselves?  This is a small responsibility of my life.  I may not be good at it, but I know about it, and I thereby have a responsibility to use it.

“Whether it is kids in Brooklyn or political complexity in nations scattered across the glove, [we want] the work of [our] hands to matter, to be part of ‘tearing a corner off of the darkness,’ in Bono’s poetic image.”

So, dear reader, knowing what I know, I am striving to satisfy my implicated responsibility because of that knowledge.  I am a Romantic, but not just.  I must also be Realistic, both in my stories and in my life.

What corner of the darkness are you tearing off?